Another day, another 85 cents.

cavetocanvas:

Clarence John Laughlin, Beneath the Rain of the Moss, No. 2, 1946

Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

Played 5 times [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

“If you’re not armed, you’re in harm’s way.”
- Grym Reaper

I’ve got passion in my pants, and I ain’t afraid to show it.

Dear Tumblr App,

Stop crashing my phone.

kthanx,
-LastLink

Incredibly Amazing.

Incredibly Amazing for Geriatrics

Incredibly Amazing for Geriatrics.

Incredibly Amazing.

I see this nearly every time my Android phone reboots from using tumblr.

(Source: codelyokoconfessions)

MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow:

- “Candidate Ron Paul drew a huge crowd, despite driving rain. … Over 4000 people turned out to hear Ron Paul speak in Philly in the middle of a drenching downpour.”

- “Perhaps the most off-script thing that has just happened on the Republican side… Is that, I think Ron Paul just won Iowa. Uh, Seriously.”

- “And, while we’re on the subject, it looks like Ron Paul just won Minnesota, too!”

Craziness!